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Today I passed by Sablat Oman (Arabic version) and found this discussion on marriage.
It was titled: “Single because of my family, discussion”

I started reading it, and to be honest… I’m furious!

The United Nation: International Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Racial Discrimination stated on 2006:

The Committee takes note of the discrepancy between the State party’s assertion that Omani society is ethnically homogeneous, and information that the population includes various ethnic groups, including Balochi, Swahili-speaking Omanis born in Zanzibar and other regions of East Africa, Liwatiyah and Jibalis, as well as a large number of migrant workers from the Indian subcontinent, the Philippines and other Asian countries.

Omani society is not ethnically homogeneous. People don’t act as such either! If you read my posts on racial classes in Oman you will understand what I’m talking about!
At least 70% of all Omanis are racists! its a fact! Racial discrimination is widely practiced. The problem is that when foreigners visit the country, they are met with this colorful fake facade that every one in Oman is equal. No matter what your background is… Guess what!!! THEY ARE LYING!
Yes, I’m pissed…

Let me tell you about this post that pushed my buttons:

A girl was complaining that her family is disapproving many good proposals for her marriage because there is something wrong in the guy’s lineage. The usual excuses the family gives is that: “We don’t know these people”, “They are not well known”, and “Not from our status”. It doesn’t matter whether the girl desires the guy or not! what matters is their honor does not get scratched by good men!
Then she complains that a guy from her family proposed. He is not suitable for her as a husband, but the family says yes because “At least we know him” or “He is from the family”!

STUPID… thats all I have to say!

I’ll give you some responses this girl got:

The thing is, you can’t change a guy’s lineage history, but you can change his attitude and make him become a better person.

First of all, that’s stupid. You don’t toss a poor girl on a bad guy hoping she would change him. Second of all, you people have too much faith in these men! None of my male relatives changed “for the better” after marriage. They still screw prostitutes and drive drunk..etc.

Of course lineage history is important. If people intermarry without precautions, you would end up with a generation of pictures like those of black and while.

What is more racist than this! Seriously!

And what’s with this response:

Girls, you need not to force marriage. You will get married when its written for you.

My comment: A city was flooded. A boat came by a man’s house and asked him to hop on, he said “no, I’m waiting for God, He will save me”. A while later, another boat came by, “no, I’m waiting for God, He will save me”. The third came by and the same response. The man died and when he faced God he said: “You didn’t rescue me”, God replied: “What are you talking about, I sent you three boats”….

Last, I just want to say I am very proud of those girls and “small percentage of guys” that responded against these thoughts. It certainly gives me hope that things will change for the better!

Discussion in Sablat Oman: http://www.omania2.net/avb/showthread.php?t=412551

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Polygamy in Oman

Today, I want to talk about the polygamy issue in Oman. I was reading the other day about how some guy wanted to marry a second wife over his first, and how she wanted divorce. The “poor” guy was in a dilemma. He loves his first wife and she is great to him and to their children, but he wants a second wife to complete his religious obligationto rescue unmarried women from their despair!

There are a couple of reasons why a man marries a second wife in Oman:
1- His wife does not take good care of him.
2- His wife does not bare children.
3- His wife does not like to have intercourse as often.
4- His wife is so great to him, and he wants more love.
5- And, just because he feels like it… etc.

I call polygamy in Oman an issue because when the husband marries a second wife regardless of his wife’s feelings or her opinion on it, it becomes an issue and sometimes destroys lives. Men think of it as their right in Islam and no one can tell them they cannot have more than one wife. They view women as being overly sensitive on this issue and that they are influenced by the west to object… “Oh my God, women of the past were angels, they didn’t complain!!”

The reality is: Yes, Islam did allow men to have up to 4 wives. But, that was in a different era. We do not live in a war zone right now and we don’t have women living with orphans that need a male support. (the definition of an orphan in Islam, is a child without a father)

A reality check: the population in Oman has about approx. 340 thousand more males than females. So, saying that they are rescuing Omani women from living and dying alone is in fact… just an excuse!
If a woman agrees and welcomes a second wife into her life, then that is her business. However, in our generation, having a second wife is more problematic and destroys a family. I cannot judge the people of the past. That was their norm. Women obeyed and adapted. Today, it is different. Plus, if men really wanted to follow Islam, they should marry older women “in their 40’s and not 20’s” with orphan children..! But their selfish being interpret religion for their own pleasure!

Can women divorce their husbands in this case? The law in Oman states that a woman can ask for divorce if her marriage causes her harm and distress. So, yes, she can. Some might argue that she cannot because they don notunderstand that the situation does in fact causes “distress” and “affects” a woman’s well being.

However, the Real Problemis for those who marry a secondwife in secret.. In many cases, these men use their “1st wife’s” salary to build a second home or rent an apartment and sometimes to support the “2nd wife”. The law in Oman SHOULD make it mandatory that a man acquires his first wife’s signatureto marry a second one. At least, in that case, a woman is aware of the situation and can ask for divorce..etc.

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