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Posts Tagged ‘Men’

Phone Stalking

When I lost my phone yesterday, I took my mom’s and tried to call my phone. However, I ended up dialing a wrong number (I do know my number, I just pressed the wrong digit, really!). A guy answered, and my immediate thought was “huh, is my phone with my dad?”. Apparently not.  I said “Aloo” still thinking I’m calling my number.

The guy replied, “Aloo, aywa, who is with me?” So, as part of my impulse reaction, I hung up the phone. However, my “Aloo” was enough of an indication to this guy that the person who called was a female, and so, calling back was just a natural reaction. He called. I gave him the busy signal. (that’s after calling my actual number and finding my cell in my purse, where it is supposed to be!)

He called again, and this time it was apparent that the guy was hoping for some recognition. (these type of guys require that once the difference in gender is established). Again, I gave him the busy signal, “Bug OFF”.

Later that day, my mother picked me up from work and immediately started complaining about this guy. Apparently he tried calling her, and she answered. She told him, “sorry, we didn’t try to call you”, and he replied, “well then, it’s a very lovely morning don’t you think?”, so she hung up. He called over and over again. Then he started sending desperate phone messages. Here are some: “Who are you?”, “Pick up the phone, O fine lady”, “How about you don’t hang up the phone and just talk to me?”, “I will call again, please don’t send the busy signal”, “I just want to talk a little bit”, “I’m sure you are a wonderful person, just pick up the phone”, “I will call again, but this time don’t turn your phone off!”…. there were over 10 msgs on her phone!

I don’t think this guy realizes that he is trying to phone stalk a grandmother!

Update: Last night he sent a msg to my mother saying, “I’m hanging out with 9 other guys right now! If you don’t tell me who you are, I will distribute your number to them and they will all bother you”.  …. Classic!

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Men Behind Walls

Today I would like to talk about the roles of men in our society. Please note that this is not meant to generalize, though I think it is true for the majority of people here.

I had a conversation with a co-worker a few days ago about his daily life. He works in Muscat but lives in the inner parts of Oman. The conversation went as follows:

“Do you cook?” he asked, “Yes, sometimes” I replied, and in an attempt to bring up a discussion I asked, “Why? Do you?”.

“Nooo!” he replied with a tone of disbelief as if I have hurt his honor. Knowing him, I kind of expected it and I continued, “Why not? There is nothing shameful in cooking”. “But I am a MAN!, I should never touch a pan!”… huh, If cooking is shameful, then is starving honorable?.. just wondering

Then, he went on to describe how things go with him once he arrives his village, “Once I enter my house, I put my bag of dirty clothes on the side and sit in the living room. A few minutes later, my lunch arrives. Of course my mom or my sister brings it to me. Then, I sleep. I barely enter our kitchen, and even if I needed to drink, they would bring it to me. At the end of the weekend, I find my clothes cleaned and ironed, ready for me to take back to Muscat”…. Thinking while not being shocked, that hardly makes you a man!

“Now what you are saying is that you are a man because you do nothing and let the women in your house serve you?” I replied.

“No, its not because I do nothing, but women are supposed to serve men. That is their duty. The Quran says ‘Men are in charge of women’ (Surat al-Nisa, 34).” He continued.

“That does not mean men are above women!, and it certainly doesn’t mean that women are servants to men!”

Here, the phrase ‘Men are in charge of women’, is widely used in the Gulf area. In our local Arabic, the term “in charge” has changed to mean that men are above women. Now, if we look at the whole verse concerning the “in charge” part, the Quran says: “Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded.”

Now this makes me wonder. Women, in many times, work and too spend part of their salary (sometimes all of it) on their household needs. So, in another light, and may I dare to say this: men being in charge of women is somewhat not needed as much with those that work and are independent.

There are many men that would not marry a non-working female because their income alone is not enough. Then, they expect their wives to work (same hours as they do) and run back home to cook, clean, and look after the kids. On top of that, if the wife is not looking after herself – as in being attractive– then she is not a good wife!

So, my question is… in this society, where does the men’s role fall behind the walls of houses?

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Today I wanted to talk about a serious issue, and it is about Omani men dating expats including house maids and professional workers for nothing but pleasure.

Usually, guys would follow expat women everywhere to date them. These men think that this is the smartest way to have “intercourse” without being caught or at least not get into trouble with the girl’s family. The scenario is simple and obvious. They show interest. They tell you they are interested in marriage and that you are what they are looking for. Typical of Omani or Gulf men that want to play… They say you are different from all other women, you are the seixest, you are beautiful inside out… etc. They throw in a gift or two. Mostly I think, they always refer to marriage as to show you that they actually have intentions behind all this… they really dont. They just want to have “intercourse” period.

What I am going to write might be very hurtful to many but it is the truth and I am here to give notice..

In Oman, Most men that pursue expat women think they are cheap and easy to get. Especially those that don’t cover. There is a tendency where many men think that if you don’t cover, that means you are welcoming all sxeual harassments from men. Even if it is rape. Who cares, they think you wanted it because… well, you are not covered. its not logical I know people.. calm down and continue reading… expat women, yes you can be pissed!

Alright, so how can you know if a man has good intentions or not.. well, if he is married, then there is almost no possibility he has good intentions.. None.. Nada… AT ALL… you are just a siex partner, if you want more…. sorry
Also, if he is very young… then most probably he is just a horny teenager! I wonder if men ever get passed that point!

So… its simple… if they want to sleep with you, then they dont have good intentions… Omani girls know this by heart now 😀
If you are looking for a potential husband, then dont let the guy touch you until he marries you … and NOT marriage in secret PLZ. It does not make a difference. He will use you and throw you away. Take it as a RULE. If he has good intentions you will marry him openly and with the presence of his whole family. Don’t believe any crap he gives you.

If you are dating an Omani guy, then really… its not magic, it’s a rule of thumb.. if he doesnt call, check on you, not the loving, caring, and trusting boyfriend… then, you deserve better cause he is just using you… as they say… free siex!

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The reason I’m naming this as Gulf men’s pride because it applies to most or nearly all gulf men.

And yes, I did name it exhausting pride because I’m exhausted from it and have been for a very very longs ass time! I am addicted to honesty and you can NEVER be partially fully honest with your:… its a long list… male relative, father, brother, uncle, boyfriend, fiancée, or husband!

If you are a Middle Eastern girl, you become accustomed to learning all kinds of games and ways to manipulate your way into getting what you want! I don’t know, but I really do think men are either stupid or just have an arrogant mentality that they don’t see all those games and manipulative techniques!

All this for what…. So their precious PRIDE does not get hurt!

I’m not sure if you guys realize -maybe you do if you live in the Middle East- that there is this whole other world behind the faces of these .. so called… Men!

Example One:

Typical question (guy): “have you loved anyone before me?”
Typical answer (girl): “of course never” sounds like a big fat lie especially if she is 27, which of course girls realize, so they continue by “only that my mother would always tease me about my cousin, and I used to kind of like him when i was young. But I never saw him much..”

UHUH! Yeah.. Right! Toss them with a pathetic lie half truth, and they will walk away thinking they caught an angle that was untouched by the rotting smell of the concept of “love before marriage”… stupid..

Girls are never that stupid to ask that question, cause they know that the truth would be untold or the whole thing WILL be told.. how many prostitutes, with your aunt, neighbor..etc. Other girls don’t care, they understand the concept, “we will live together for the future not the past”

Example Two:

A girl from the Gulf area always gets this advice from other women: “always downplay your smarts, and sometimes act stupid. Don’t challenge them on debates because you will always end up called: stupid, you dont understand, disrespectful, and ‘shut up and do as I say’.”

My reply… F***K THEM…..(sorry, I’m angry)

If they cannot pick a book and read it before they open their mouths, debate, and become all philosophical about it.. then don’t be offended when I site writer’s and articles!

People… Gulf men RARELY read! some of them go to college and graduate as they entered.. stupid. They never take the time to do research and actually read more than what they have to. No interest, whatsoever!

Their main interest after getting a job, a wife, a house is: eat, sleep, hang out, and gradually become fat.

How do they graduate? I wonder, they copy and paste papers from google.. I don’t think they realize their school has online subscriptions to journals!.. or that they are ALLOWED to use the library for uses other than chatting on terminals and checking out text-books in the beginning of the semester.

Example Three:

Dad: “Where are you going?”
Daughter: “Hang out with my boyfriend girlfriends and fool around drive around in the car *smiley face*” and to just give him a sense of involvement, through him a couple of lies activities that you will be doing with your friends.

LoL, poor dad!

It does not end here! wish it did…

You have to lie about going shopping, talking to a friend he dislikes or one he fought with the brother, driving somewhere, going out in general.. “many go out only when the male is not in the house”, cooking, cleaning, relationships, being mad at them…..etc.

They also think that they are entitled to your privacy. They have an urging need to know everything that happens in your life, no matter how private you would like to keep it. Just so that they can remind you later on of your mistakes and how you should be dependent on their stupidity wisdom.

I am tired of always walking on eggshells because I might hurt their pride one day… Many women don’t mind it because they don’t think that men can be any different. “God made them that way for a reason!”.. all I will say is.. God is innocent from such accusations…

My problem? I got to know better….

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