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Archive for the ‘Ranting’ Category

Resigned From Work

Alright, I am VERY delighted to let everyone know that I RESIGNED!!!!!

Well, truth be told, I only stuck here this long because I know I will be leaving in a couple of months, so no point of getting a new job. The plan was for me to stay for only three months maximum till I get a new job, well.. as many of you know I will be traveling to the US soon.

I almost felt bad when I handed in my resignation letter… almost, till today that is. I came to work, and one of my co-workers, being nice, got me some tea. This co-worker is one of my favorites cause he doesn’t treat me like a “girl”, but rather just another co-worker that he sometimes chit-chats with (Okay, you got me, he brings me the company’s gossip). Anyway, he came an hour ago and said: “Are you free?”, “Yes, you need anything?”.. “I have this project for a class, can you do it for me? You have till the end of the month”.. “No!”.. “Ohh, common, this is easy for you!”.. “It’s IT and I am no IT person!”..”Well, at least look at it”.. “Fine”

So, I looked at it, and the teacher has OUTLINED SPECIFICALLY all the components that he needs in this project.  I said, “I’ll explain to you what the teacher wants, but to be honest, I don’t know how to do this stuff”.. “Ohhh, common! yes you can. If I was told that you made an airplane I wouldn’t be surprised! You graduated from the US!!” I ignored the stupid comment and started explaining the concept, and he goes “See, you understand what is required! Do it for me!”.. “NO, and you can try kissing my ass AS MUCH AS YOU WANT.. I WILL NOT DO YOUR PROJECT FOR YOU!!!!”

He tried saying this to me too!

This annoys me SO much! I mean, I really respect my co-workers that work hard and want to have a better future for themselves. However, many don’t care much about the learning process as much as they care about getting the paper that says.. I HAVE A DEGREE, I WANT MORE SALARY! But when it comes to them doing the actual work.. they know NOTHING! apparently my co-worker is studying IT. He has a year left and he doesn’t even know how to hook his laptop up to our wireless network!

Another co-worker came up to me today and said:  “Hey, I have this paper here that I wrote and I want you to rephrase some of the words. You don’t need to do the introduction and the summary, just the rest of it!” … “HUH!” as I looked at him confused! “You want me to rephrase your paper for you?”.. “No, just the words because I copied the content from the book”.. uhuh! “Hmm, NO!”.. “Why not?” he looked at me shocked as if he doesn’t understand! as if there was a mutual understanding that I should do it, or that it is listed in my job description! I said, “Go to your word document, right-click and go to synonyms and choose another word”..

WTF..

Really, I am SO glad to resign, and can’t wait till my time comes up! A few weeks left!

Also, what is up with my clients calling me by snapping their fingers at me and saying “Oy..Come!” .. no please, no excuse me.. no nothing.. Of course I DID NOT MOVE!

I don’t know.. Maybe I was their slave in my previous life and they just can’t get over it!

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Okay, I need to talk about this because I absolutely have to. Being engaged to a non-Omani has its “small” challenges… I will have to get used to giving many clarifications from now on!

So yes B, I am dedicating this post to you. There are times, B, when I call you and give you a missed call, or what we call here a “Ranah“. When that happens, the response I expect is for you to call me back, and not for you to send me a msg saying “I missed your call, can you call back?”.

Sometimes I forget that there are certain aspects of my culture that can look silly to others, but nevertheless it is part of the culture and after this post.. I really hope B responds to my missed calls “appropriately”  so I can continue with my normal life and take this part of the culture for granted.

Okay, so the “Ranah” culture started a while ago, early 2000, when the younger generation started having prepaid cell phones (maybe even before that, but this is when it became popular). At that time, many young people who did not earn money would give their parents or friends a missed call, which means “Call me back”. The second party would call using either their cell or home phones.

Sometime, too, the “Ranah” could mean.. “Wanna say Salam” or “I’m thinking of you”.. but I don’t have enough credit to call you.. sort of thing.

Though the practice of “Ranah” started to fade in recent years because of the cheap msging, it is still out there. There is even a song by Salman Hameed that is called “Raneet lek Ranah“.. meaning, I gave you a missed call. The song goes:

“I gave you a missed call
and you didn’t give me a missed call,
you say you love me,
No no, you don’t love me.. “

As far as I know, this song has been very popular, and it still comes up in the radio stations.

So, dear B, next time you get a missed call from me and you wonder how come you didn’t have enough time to answer.. then don’t txt me explaining… just, call me back .. cause you didn’t really miss my call..

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Jacob (big thanks) sent me a link to an article in The National called “Divorce falls in Oman as more men take second wives“. According to this article, the good news is that “the divorce rate in Oman dropped by 12 per cent in 2008 from the previous year”. The bad news though is that “the number of men taking second wives increased by more than 20 per cent”.

Hmm, I’m not sure where this is leading Oman.

A marriage counselor in this article quotes the male’s perspective, which is “I will keep the first family as a dutiful husband, but I need to marry a second wife to keep my libido up“.. hmm, really!? What a lucky first wife she is… to have an asshole a wonderful person as a husband who is willing to honor his duties… what a dutiful husband he is!

I wont mingle much into this subject, but damn we need more marriage counselors in this country before the percentage in marrying a second wife increases. I mean, maybe just maaaaybe.. the wife has feelings and needs too.. just maybe.. and just because the divorce rate is lower, does NOT mean that those families are living in happy homes. I know too many families torn apart because of this. Half brothers and sisters hate each others guts. Years pass by before they talk because daddy is treating one mommy better than the other.. or whatever the reason is.

Marriage counselors please come to Oman, and not ones like Safiya Suleiman that would say something like this “In my opinion, women have only themselves to blame for letting themselves go. They need to look after themselves and stay attractive”… Yeah, thanx, that helps a lot.. solves the problem actually.. make women look like dolls! … yet also continue to expect them to pop out kids, clean, cook, and have a full time job.

So, Oman is empowering women by allowing them to be part in all kinds of jobs and activities. They make a living, sometimes more than their spouses.. Women will not keep their mouths shut for too long. Maybe a forty year old women is not going to demand divorce and fight for her rights because we are still living in the “acceptance” era. However, women are starting to realize that they have rights too.

Many working and married women refuse to contribute to building houses when it is under the husbands name. They are demanding to co-own everything, or mostly the major things.. like their new houses… so what happens then? How can these “wealthy” men afford a second wife then?

Divorce falls in Oman as more men take second wives

Saleh al Shaibany, Foreign Correspondent

  • Last Updated: January 05. 2010 12:40AM UAE / January 4. 2010 8:40PM GMT

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Safiya Suleiman says women need to stay attractive to stop their husbands marrying again. Ramla Hussein for The National

MUSCAT // The rate of divorce in Oman has fallen as a result of a trend in which men are increasingly taking second wives while keeping their first to prevent the break-up of their families, marriage counsellors say.

According to statistics from the ministry of religious affairs, the divorce rate in Oman dropped by 12 per cent in 2008 from the previous year. At the same time, the number of men taking second wives increased by more than 20 per cent.
“It is a way of making compromises… between men and their first wives,” Fatma Fallahy, a 74-year-old marriage counsellor, said. “Men say: ‘I will keep the first family as a dutiful husband, but I need to marry a second wife to keep my libido up’.”

In Islam, men can have up to four wives, provided they can afford to treat them equally, both emotionally and financially.

But when men decide to marry again, their first wives’ emotional well-being is usually the last of their concerns. “It is good that there are fewer divorces now; that prevents family break-up, but women still don’t understand why their husbands would want to add another wife when things are going well at home,” Ms Fallahy said.
For Aisha Suleimany, a 46-year-old bank supervisor, her married life does not have the same meaning now that she shares her husband of 24 years with a much younger woman. Her 51-year-old husband married a 22-year-old woman six months ago.

“What did I do wrong? I slaved in the house and at the same time go out to earn a second living and what do I get? Some woman to share my marriage and the fortune I helped to provide for our children. Half of it now goes to the new wife who came in with just a bag of clothes,” Ms Suleimany said.

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Ms Suleimany said she and her husband took a joint bank loan before he married again to build a second home.

“The second home that he now lives in with his second wife is partly my effort,” Ms Suleimany added. “I understand Islam allows men to have two wives, but it is hard for most women to accept that when the only reason is just to get a younger model.”

Other marriage counsellors have little sympathy for first wives. “In my opinion, women have only themselves to blame for letting themselves go. They need to look after themselves and stay attractive,” Safiya Suleiman, a 58-year-old marriage counsellor, said.
Ms Suleiman said men in their 40s and 50s are more likely to marry second wives than any other age group.

“They want to revive their youth and stay young, and a very young second wife is just the thing for them,” Ms Suleiman said.

But many ask why young women would accept a marriage proposal by married men twice their age.

“Middle-aged men are usually well-off financially. Some young women don’t want to struggle with men of their own age. Another reason is that it is difficult in our society for women to land a husband after the age of 25. They become a prime target for middle-aged, wealthy men,” Ms Fallahy said.
But Ms Suleimany dismissed Ms Suleiman’s suggestion. “That is stupid advice and I am surprised that, as a woman, she would say that. It is biologically impossible to retain one’s youthfulness as one ages. Besides, women look beyond wrinkles, can’t men do the same?” she said.

Nasser Kindy, a 56-year-old businessman who took a second wife two years ago, refuted the popular belief that men who take second wives simply want to boost their libidos.
“Far from the truth… most men with two wives do that because their first one turned the house into sheer hell,” Mr Kindy said. “At my age, I want peace of mind and not constant nagging all day long. The home of my second wife is an escape route when the first wife starts to blow the roof.”

But Mr Kindy conceded that polygamy is not always an enviable lifestyle.

“Children from the first wife can be rebellious, causing constant friction… And your two families can never be close, virtually becoming lifelong enemies,” Mr Kindy said.
Clerics say the practice often leads to disputes over inheritance.

“Usually, the children of the first wife, being much older than the second wife’s children, tend to take more than their share after their father’s death, resulting in bitter court lawsuits,” Sheikh Salim al Amry, imam of a mosque in Muscat, said.

Many second wives also say they often have contentious relationships with their co-wives. “We are called ‘husband snatchers’ by first wives. If anything, it is their fault for not satisfying their husbands,” Khadija Marhoon, 33, the second wife of an army officer, said. “Yes, there are problems… I personally don’t care as long as I get what I need.”

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Phone Stalking

When I lost my phone yesterday, I took my mom’s and tried to call my phone. However, I ended up dialing a wrong number (I do know my number, I just pressed the wrong digit, really!). A guy answered, and my immediate thought was “huh, is my phone with my dad?”. Apparently not.  I said “Aloo” still thinking I’m calling my number.

The guy replied, “Aloo, aywa, who is with me?” So, as part of my impulse reaction, I hung up the phone. However, my “Aloo” was enough of an indication to this guy that the person who called was a female, and so, calling back was just a natural reaction. He called. I gave him the busy signal. (that’s after calling my actual number and finding my cell in my purse, where it is supposed to be!)

He called again, and this time it was apparent that the guy was hoping for some recognition. (these type of guys require that once the difference in gender is established). Again, I gave him the busy signal, “Bug OFF”.

Later that day, my mother picked me up from work and immediately started complaining about this guy. Apparently he tried calling her, and she answered. She told him, “sorry, we didn’t try to call you”, and he replied, “well then, it’s a very lovely morning don’t you think?”, so she hung up. He called over and over again. Then he started sending desperate phone messages. Here are some: “Who are you?”, “Pick up the phone, O fine lady”, “How about you don’t hang up the phone and just talk to me?”, “I will call again, please don’t send the busy signal”, “I just want to talk a little bit”, “I’m sure you are a wonderful person, just pick up the phone”, “I will call again, but this time don’t turn your phone off!”…. there were over 10 msgs on her phone!

I don’t think this guy realizes that he is trying to phone stalk a grandmother!

Update: Last night he sent a msg to my mother saying, “I’m hanging out with 9 other guys right now! If you don’t tell me who you are, I will distribute your number to them and they will all bother you”.  …. Classic!

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Embarrassing People

Have you ever went to a place full of expats and you had one arrogant Omani guy who thinks that he is “special” and you just felt so embarrassed that you are in the same room and wearing an abaya?

Yes, Oman like any other Gulf/Arabic country is full of  wasta (I will use Nadia’s Def.: “Wasta is getting what you want in life when you don’t deserve it by using your social connections and the grapevine”). It goes to the extent where people are offended if you don’t let them slack off or give them a break when they mess up. This guy who happened to make me feel embarrassed, was giving an application to a woman at this place and didn’t have enough cash. Now, according to the policy, the lady cannot accept the application or keep it with her (pending) till this guy goes and gets the cash. He was insulted. Apparently he thought his old age look (around 50’s) gave him the right to demand a special treatment.

“For God’s sake, look at me!”, he argued, “look at me standing in front of you!, and you tell me you cannot accept the application!?”
The lady, very patiently, responded “I am not trying to disrespect you, but our policy does not allow me to accept your application”
He looked at her in disbelief and said, “Where is your SUPERVISOR!”… this word is usually said to scare who ever is working  from being fired or deployed, but the worker is an Oman woman and I’m sure she is not afraid of deployment!
She excused herself, went to her supervisor. During this time, this middle-aged guy (really, he didn’t look old) managed to scam the money out of a naive and well prepared Indian expat. Not just that! The Omani guy was arrogant about it too. After the Indian guy gave him the money, he said.. “I will pay you DOUBLE what you just gave me!”. He was loud and obnoxious! As if this Indian guy was getting a great DEAL out of this..

It was embarrassing to see.  The guy took the money, finished his application, and went to the bathroom. Later, he returned like nothing happened, sat down and waited for his name to be called.

This whole thing unfolded just like this Omani guy wanted: he got what he wanted the way he wanted.

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Okay, you read the title… don’t jump on my throat just yet!

As a Muslim the first thought that goes through my head every time any killing or bombing happens in any place, especially in a non-Muslim country,  is “Oh, God! Please don’t make him be a Muslim!“..

That is how it is for many of us Muslims in Oman or Muslims who live in the US. We dread it when the news reports these bombings or shootings because the first thing that is mentioned in these reports (if it is a Muslims guy) is Islam. “He is a Muslim US born”, “American citizen, with Arabic roots”! The focus changes from this man being a killer to a Muslim killer. His actions become a Muslim trait and that is just absurd!

It is also of concern how I go about to read in some posts or comments on the news websites and read what people have to say. Some think that Muslims leaders should issue an apology. Others still hate us for the 9/11 attacks and are still resentful because the Muslim countries did not issue a formal apology. Now let me see.. Does the Pope apologizes for every Christian murderer out there? I mean common! so NO! We will not apologies for every Muslim that decides to kill people. They do not represent us nor are they related to us in any way! I shall not feel guilty but sad for the loss of those lives in such a horrific incident. My heart goes for their families, and I am sorry this happened to them. I am not sorry because he is a Muslim and I should not feel guilty for being one either.

I am a good person and a Muslim too. I would not hurt anyone be they are Christians, Jews, Hindus…etc. I respect others and only ask for the same. And here, I ask that I am not judged based on some person’s actions who is on the other side of the planet that the only thing he shares with me is a religion.

 

 

 

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Office Gossip (1)

Okay, here is what I found out:

1- My company pays 120 R.O for each cleaner, but the company that brings us the cleaners pays them only RO 35/- a month.

2- The company also pays RO 300/- for each security guard we get. Apparently, their agency pays them around RO 120/- each.

3- No one likes the girl I hated in the office… She is rude to everyone and not just me! 🙂

4- Our boss was granted the Omani national after completing 10 yrs in Oman. I must admit, he looks good with the  traditional dress.

5- A higher boss has been living in Oman for 37 yrs, but they wont grant his the citizenship. He has grandkids and he is OLD now! poor thing.. I think he served the country well and deserves more than just a citizenship!

—- yup, didn’t work much today, strangely I feel good about it!! not a tiny feeling of guilt… None! Nada!

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