Before I start, I would like to give my “thank you” to Emma Williams (from The Week) for writing an article about Dating and for including my views in it.
I think the article depicts the true state of dating and getting married in Oman, so check it out tomorrow or you can read it online at (http://www.theweek.co.om/). I also attached a .pdf file of the article here “The Week“
Oh, and B.. please don’t forward this to all your friends saying “This is my wife”.. There is a reason why I’m being anonymous.. :-p..
Those with slow internet, here:
The Date Debate: Dating in the City
by Emma Williams
theweek@apexstuff.comPicture the scene. You are in a popular restaurant in Muscat when you notice a beautiful Omani woman dressed up in her best abaya but alone in one corner of the restaurant texting away on her phone. She finishes writing her message and places her phone back on the table. Moments later a young Omani man, who is sitting on the opposite side of the restaurant to the woman, picks up his phone after a text tone goes off loudly. He smiles and starts replying; the woman meanwhile sips her drink and toys with her pasta.
Maria, an expatriate from the UK working in Oman, thought this was just a coincidence until a second after the young man put down his phone, the girl’s loud door bell style ring-tone announced she had a reply. The messages continued throughout the meal until the girl paid her bill and left, the youth following minutes later. After raising the incident with some local friends of hers, Maria was surprised when they said these types of encounters were becoming increasingly common as young men and women try to date or get to know each other without risking damage to their family name or distress to their traditional parents.
‘Reality-in-Oman’ is a young and popular Omani blogger who is married and thinks there are a number of problems facing young people in Oman when it comes to finding a partner. “One problem is that dating is looked down on. Good girls don’t date and good boys never marry girls who have been in previous relationships. The idea of absolute purity and innocence seems to be most dominant when it comes to selecting your future partner, which is not possible,” she said.
‘Reality-in-Oman’ feels that it is a lack of communication and understanding between young people and their parents that cause problems for those trying to date. She finds the kind of secret relationships like the one described above to be unfortunate. She said, “Sometimes the hardest part is not finding
love, but finding a healthy relationship that allows two people to grow.
“Once love is found, young people face another huge obstacle that they have to pass, which is presenting that love to their families in the hope of receiving a positive response. Instead, many couples are faced with angry parents who
reject the marriage proposal. Hence, you find couples looking for ways to deceive their parents into believing that the guy just happened to see the girl somewhere and fell in love.”—- Emphasis mine, if you want to read the rest, then go through the pain of downloading the pdf file.
The article is very interesting reading, congratulations on being featured in it!
There seems to be a pretty wide spectrum of relationships and “dating” behavior in Oman, from the completely traditional to more western forms. From the point of view of someone that grew up in the United States it is interesting to see the reactions of parents (with more traditional viewpoints) to their children, many of whom grew up in markedly different conditions.
In the US social change, especially that concerning the interactions of young men and women, occurred fairly slowly, with spikes happening due to major cultural events (prohibition, the creation of the suburbs, and the current digital revolution). This meant that parents and children at least had a fighting chance to understand the others viewpoint.
Keep up all of the good work, I am really enjoying reading the blog posts!
Thanx B for the input.
I read this and I was interesting article !! I like the stories but I felt sorry for Omani ppl because they are struggled to find real love through romance though it is not acceptable in Oman yet..or 4ever for decades??
If parents are educated well, does it mean omani ppl are more achieve to find romance easily? I dont know but I guess ? Well unless it is not a part of culture..maybe not.
I would like to borrow this article to my own place blog..Is that ok ? I want this for valentine’s day..Thanks Reality..
Congrats, R !!
Hope you will share some more details on how you managed (to find your partner) !!
J
Well.. hmm… It’s hard for me to talk about it..
Well, we met in school.. we saw that we had similar interests and beliefs, similar needs and hopes for the future.
He met my parents after a few months to propose and everyone seemed to like him (except of course those who have a problem w his nationality and color)
things didn’t work out… then Obama came to office.. and the face of America seemed to become better (people either stopped hating it or became indifferent)
so then, he proposed again.. and we got engaged..
Now, I’m happy I will get to raise my kids the way I want (Learn to love God (not just fear him), love oneself and others without setting conditions. Also, to believe that every good person will end up in heaven no matter what religion they follow. That it is not for us to judge, but to accept others..etc)
People argue that he is from a different culture, hence, we cannot mesh well and our thoughts will clash. They do not realize, that what we “in Oman” pride ourselves to have are morals that all cultures value too.. like respecting and loving one’s parents, respecting others.. not stealing or lying… etc.
Some stuff are different though.. but those differences do not clash with our values and religion, so why make a big fuss about it!
R,
Congrats once again, looks like you are one of the persons whose fortune was directly impacted by Obama !!!
Sounds like your classmate in the US, i’t your good luck that you happened to meet him outside Oman.
All the best once again, hope you will continue to blog (even if you decide to relocate)
J